I noticed something about myself yesterday and it wasn’t one of those, “oh wow, this is so cool! I didn’t know I could do that!” epiphanies. It was more like an, “are you freaking kidding me, why do I do this?” glaring defect.
Sometimes I act a certain way, think a certain way or feel a certain way simply because I think that I THINK this is what I am supposed to do. Like, I really get upset over unmonumental bullcrap. Sincerely. This light bulb went off in my head this morning.
So then I ask myself: “WHY AM I SO DAMN ANGRY?” Like, why do I let my head control me to the point of borderline insanity? I don’t know the answer to this question, but I do know that it drives me batty and I am in the painstaking process of changing the way I think so I can change the way I feel there by changing the way I act.
Did you ever tell someone something and their reaction is along the lines of, “Well, just stop doing that.” or “Think about something else.” or (and this is my favorite) “Get over it.”
Get over it?! Cue bitter resentment teetering on unabated rage. “Nobody tells me to get over it! I’ll get over it when I’m good and ready!” “How dare you tell me that. You don’t know how I feel.”
Yeah, somebody call me the Waaambulance.
So, this morning after much coffee and a bowl of Special K Fruit & Yogurt (okay, two bowls) mature thoughts started to creep in my head (kinda like a black goo, only not as ugly) and I started to think:
- I do not have to feel this way!
- Anger is a choice and it’s on me if I choose anger (or any one of the subcategories of anger).
- I can come back to these ugly thoughts later.
- I will feel how I choose to feel today.
Let me repeat that last one: I will feel how I choose to feel today.
And that there is the truth about anger. We choose to feel angry, resentful, jealous, bitter and any of the other byproducts of hate. We also choose to feel many of the byproducts of love. We get to choose how we feel about anything at any moment in any situation. We have that power. That’s some huge stuff right there!
Today I have a choice and so do you. Today I will choose love over anger, confidence over insecurity and acceptance over jealousy.
What will you choose?