Those Damn Emotions!

English: emotionsSo I’m sitting there on my couch, I make a comment, someone comments on the comment I make and… BOOM! Commence being up in my head fo the next 36 hours.
“Why did they say that?” “Am I not good enough?” “How can I be better?” “Dammit, my ex’s were right.” “If only I had better(insert trait or quality here).”

Why do I have to take everything so personally?  The truth is, I don’t have to take everything so personally.  I kind of choose to when it comes down to it; we all do. Maybe it is the way I am wired, maybe it is the way I was raised… who freaking knows.  All I know is it ticks me off and while through my twelve step program I have learned tools to combat my inner demons, sometimes they blind side me as I sit there with my soul bleeding through my fingers.

Now, back in the day (like three years ago) I had to let my offender know exactly what wrong they had done me and you can believe, that poor soul wished they never saw me after I was through with them: definitely a form of hostage taking at the highest level.

As I’ve walked this journey of sobriety and self-discovery I noticed something.  I am either really up or really down and when I am in between (very rare) I feel like something is wrong. I do try to be somewhere in the middle and get nervous if I am there for too long.  My boyfriend pointed this out to me.  He said something like, “Babe, blah blah blah.”  The truth is I don’t remember.  But it had something to do with me being up and down.  Had his statement hit me on an emotional level, I would have remembered what he said verbatim.  But it didn’t, so I just shrugged it off.

These days, I have a tendency to still hold resentments (bad ju ju in recovery!) but I handle them in a different manner… sometimes.  I am an emotional creature.  I find that most artists, writers, etc. are more emotional than others.  Maybe that is why we draw and write… I don’t know the answer to that either.

What I do know is that I have a sickening knot in my stomach now and my program flew out the window.  No, I did not drink or drug, but this anger/resentment/rage thing is nauseating.  If I get the laundry done in time, I’ll head to the 7 pm meeting tonight that is right up the street.  And yeah, I say “get the laundry done” because no one else is going to frigging get it done.

So, what should I do when I feel like this?

Call my sponsor.

Call someone else in the program.

Get to a meeting.

What should I not do?

ISOLATE AND THINK…. I am very good at this. I need to unlearn this behavior… stat.

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The Stalker Within Us

Image: epdeatonville.org

Image: epdeatonville.org

Not all of us have been a stalker or a stalkee, but for those of us who have been on either end of this creepy spectrum, this post should prove either interesting or appalling.

To the stalkers:  Your behavior does not make us want to be with you.  Sending us text messages, calling us frequently and threatening us with “you’ll never meet anyone like me ever again” does not work.  Like… really?  We are freaking hoping we never meet anyone like you… ever. 

You see, we left your sorry ass because of your suffocating, over-bearing, jealous behavior.  Nope, doesn’t matter how hot you are/were or how great in the sack you were or all the times you brought us lunch… we do not want you.

It is over.  Time for you to move on.

To the stalkees: Protect yourself!  Document all the irrational behavior on your stalker’s part.  If you can change your email or cell number, do it.  If not, keep text messages, emails, and all other correspondence.  This will come in handy should you require a protection order.

Do everything in your power to keep the stalker at bay: block them on Facebook, ignore their rants via text message, email and voicemail.  Most importantly, if they are harassing you in person, go to the police and get a protection order.

These situations are volatile and can turn dangerous.  Protect yourself! 

Dear Me – A Letter to My Fifteen Year Old Insecure Self

So I came upon this post courtesy of the talented Jeff Goins.  Listen to me, I “came upon.”  The truth is I follow his amazing blog and even bought his book “Wrecked.”  Check it out.  You can thank me later.

The gist is this:  Write a letter to your fifteen year old self.  Simple!  What would you say to yourself?  What would you tell you to value?  What would you tell you to not get in such a tizzy about?

After you write your letter, link back here to the Friday, September 14, 2012 post.

Annnnd, one more thing before we get started… Check out Emily Freeman’s book Graceful (for young women).  I plan on it!

Dear Me:

Hey.  I know you’re sad and you feel misunderstood and you’re lonely. I get it.  But I have to tell you that you looked for love in all the wrong places.  Turns out, you may have been an ugly duckling (all skinny and gangly) but you filled out quit nicely.  You always had a problem with anger, but it suited you well and really calmed down after 30.

Oh, and by the way, you’re an alcoholic.  Yeah, it turns out, after a serious run in the dirt, it is a blessing in disguise.

So here are my tips to you, lassy:

1. Boys are not everything.

2. Follow your dreams, no matter what your dad says!

3. Stop frowning!  Gram is right, your face really does stay that way.

4. Please stop cutting yourself. The emotional scars heal, but those scars on your wrist will be there for life.

5. You have great thoughts, don’t be afraid to voice your opinion.

6. No one is watching you.  Okay, maybe one or two people here and there.  But not everyone all the time.  Get over it and be silly!

7. I know you like to think you know everything.  You don’t.

8. You should listen to the adults in your life more.  They’ve been there and are so not blowing smoke up your arse.

9. Stop being such a people pleaser!

10.  You have an amazing smile!  Smile more. Frown less.

With much love and admiration,

The still crazy head banging chick you grew to love.

Getting to Know You… and Me.

So my chicky pal GingerSnaap posted this awesome collaboration of questions on her blog and after cleaning up the coffee that squirted out of my nose due to insane laughter, I decided to give it a shot!  And you can too!  There is no need to tag anyone.  Just have some unpressured fun. 😀

1. Do you like animals,  or more specifically, do you like Dogs? Why or why not?

I love animals, and bugs, and spiders and snakes…. dogs are great, but I am a little leery of them having been bitten numerous times.

2. Toilet paper over or under?

It used to be over, until my cat figured out how to single-pawedly get the TP shredded and onto the floor.  Now it is under.  Take that CAT!

3. Favorite quote?

“Hate is baggage, life’s too short to be pissed off all the time.” ~ American History X

4. Favorite sport to watch?

Football & hockey… yes, violence is fun!

5. How do you separate your laundry before washing?

Um…. I don’t.

6. What would be the perfect date nite out for you?

A great dinner, a nice drive and awesome coffee.  No movie!

7. Is there anything you find unforgivable?

Yep. But not as much as I used to… goes with that whole “hate is baggage” thing.

8. Favorite vacation destination?

If it has trees, birds and log cabins… I’m there. Oh.  And a babbling brook.

9. Name one thing you would change in an instant about your life, if you could.

I would change my insatiable need to procrastinate!!!!!!  UGH!

10. What do people misunderstand about you the most?

Everything.

11. Name up to 5 people you would meet right now, if you could.

Hmm… Edgar Allen Poe and…. Shinedown and…. Matthew McConaughey and…. Alexander the Great.

12. How/where did you meet your spouse/significant other/partner?

At an AA meeting of course!  😉

13. Have any Pet Peeves?

People who are late and any kind of lip, mouth, eating smacking noise… *shudders*

14. Quirks?

I still kiss stuff up to God!

15. Your biggest weakness?

Many…. I’m too damn nice!

16. Complete the following sentence: I would like to have a menage a trois with……

Matthew McConaughey and any other hot guy.  I’m not that picky.

17. Who or what is in the trunk of your car?

The cover for my car (which I never use) and some dead leaves. 

18. Have you ever had a recurring dream? What was it?

I don’t remember my dreams really.. so it is possible.

19. What is your best personal characteristic ?

I am a frootious loopius and I laugh at myself.  Openly.

20. What do you think about before falling asleep?

Hmm… what I want my life to be like and murder… Thanks Investigation Discovery!

21. Which is your dream car?

1970 Monte Carlo!!

Awesome awesomeness painted in awesome…. just awesome.

Talk About It Tuesday – Spiders, Hot Dog Butt Cancer & Ouija Boards

Welcome to Talk About It Tuesday!  Hope y’all have been enjoying the unseasonable, wonderful weather.  Lat week we talked about Sexist Laundry Instructions and Stalkers. Peoples is the craziest peoples!

This week I found some really interesting stuff.  You know how when you’re talking to your friend and she says she saw a huge spider under the sink and you go to get it and it is about the size of your fingernail (pinky) and you’re like, “he’s not so big” and she sees it and goes running into the other room screaming “it’s freaking huge!” and you look away uncomfortably?

Yeah, well, she really thinks it’s as big as she says. Spiders look much bigger to those that are terrified of them.  There was a study published in the Journal of Anxiety Disorders that says (ad-libbing here) that the more freaked out people are over spiders, the bigger they look.  I am not afraid of spiders, so I couldn’t say.  However, any of my readers.. are you afraid of spiders?  Do they look bigger to you than what others say?  Feel free to share!

In Texas, a couple of teenage boys were messing around with a Ouija Board when the Ouija Board told Friend One (15 yo) to stab Friend Two (14 yo).  The bizarre part of the story is that Friend One believed that the Ouija Board told him to stab his friend (or maybe kill him?) and that the friend was causing his problems.  The Ouija Board is retailed by Hasbro for amusement purposes only.  But, do Ouija Boards really work?  Have you ever used one to communicate with the dead or after life? Did you get results?  Tell us! 🙂

Extra!  Extra!  Hot Dogs Cause Butt Cancer! In Chicago, the PCRM (Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine) is putting billboards up that warn of the dangers of eating hot dogs.  According to the PCRM (and the billboards) hotdogs cause colon and other cancers.  They don’t only say they cause cancer, they say they are the leading cause of colon and other cancers.

Janet Riley, president of the hot dog council (yes there really is one) says that hotdogs are part of a healthy, balanced diet. Uh, healthy, balanced diet?  I know when I was a kid, I loved hot dogs and baked beans.  Even better?  Hot dogs with the sideways slices on them cooked up on the grill.  Now I know that they are processed foods which are never, ever good for the body.  But butt cancer?

What are your thoughts on these findings?  Is this another scare tactic from hardcore vegans?

Thanks for joining me for another edition of Talk About It Tuesday!  Enjoy the rest of your week. 😀

Talk About It Tuesday – Sexist Laundry Instructions and Stalkers

It’s Tuesday!  That means getting the nitty-gritty on all the fruitious loopious people in the world.  Last week we chatted about Black Madams and Tobacco.  Yep. If you’re looking to get your butt pumped up to give it that “b-donk-a-donk” look, the Philly Butt Pumping Madam is locked up.  Sorry!

Today we’re talking about potentially offensive laundry instructions inside men’s trousers. Not sure what town this is in but an editor for Daily Media found the tag inside her boyfriend’s pants.  Below the actual wash instructions, the tag reads, “Or give it to your woman, it’s her job.”  Check the article out.  What do you think? See, I have this thing about people telling me what to do, so after reading that tag I would not have washed them.  Oh, who am I kidding, I don’t read laundry instructions!

In Washington State, a woman planned her wedding with the man of her dreams! The only problem is he didn’t know! Yep.  A 64-year-old woman had her dress and ring picked out for her big day.  Only, the husband to be didn’t find out until a court employee called him about his wedding.  The guy also received a phone call from a jewelry store.  Now, I know all is far in love and ice cream, but you got to give a guy a clue, right?

In Maryland, a 3-year-old girl was essentially abandoned at a Chuck E. Cheese’s because everybody in the party thought someone else had the kid! The kid was not discovered missing until local media aired a picture of the girl.  I read the comments after the article on this one. Some people seem to think it was an honest mistake.  Still, I have been at places with large groups of family and my children.  I am not leaving until I know specifically who has my kid. Do you have kids? Nieces or nephews?  What’s your stance on kids being left behind?

In Boynton Beach, FL a woman was attacked while trying to get her mail.   It is so important to make sure your car is parked before you try to exit said vehicle.   If not, there is a possibility of the car attacking you without any provocation.  Put it in park!  It is kind of like that movie with Jan Michael Vincent where the car totally attacks people (it was possessed by Indians or something) or Christine!  Ok, maybe not… I am reaching.

Hey, if you have a crazy story you’d like to share or see here on Talk About It Tuesday, drop me a line.  Thanks for joining me for crazy antics in the news… see you next Tuesday! 😀

Talk About It Tuesday – WTF Moments Coming At You

Welcome to Talk About It Tuesday.  Last week we discussed Beached Dolphins and a Burger Thief.  Dolphins were hopping out of the water and beaching themselves while a guy in Wisconsin decided he would walk into a burger joint and have a burger his way.  Literally.

This week is more of a “WTF” rather than a “that’s so crazy” segment.  Just when you think, wow, the human race has utilized every notion of stupidity and lameness; here comes the news to teach you a lesson about stupid humans.  The alarming thing is the sincerity in their rationale.

Take the “Black Madam” arrested in Philadelphia (I am seriously thinking about changing the city where I turned into the nutcase you all love) at a “pumping party.” No, not pumps as in shoes or pumps as in “pumping up the jams.” She was arrested for allegedly administering butt injections.  Gosh, how desperate is a person to go to a seedy butt-pumping party.  Has our country become so vain that the stakes are high while the common sense is non-existent?  To what lengths would you go to get that all over “snazzy pizzazzy” look?

Apparently, there are dumb asses in other countries besides the U.S.A.  And you thought Americans were special.  In France, a Frenchman (who is remaining anonymous) is suing Google.  Well, you know how Google has that Google Street Map view and you can type in your address (or the address of your ex-boyfriend, cat’s former owner, etc) and look at the house?  Well, (I am not laughing while I type this.  Ok, I am.) a Frenchman is suing Google for making him a laughing-stock because Google snapped a picture of him urinating in his own front yard. I have questions, as I am sure the court will.  Questions like: Do you not have a bathroom? Is that why your tomatoes are so robust? What the hell is wrong with you, man?

Finally, we move to the government and the tobacco industry.  There were these nasty pictures of rotting teeth and soupy gums on cigarette packs floating around a while back in an effort to deter smoking.  A U.S. judge ruled in favor of the tobacco companies on the grounds that the labels “violate free speech rights.”  Plain English:  the labels deter sales of their own product which is legal for sale in the U.S.  I think that it would make people who bought cigarettes feel like dweebs.

Smoker: “Yes, I see the picture of the bleeding gums, rotting teeth and black lungs.  Can I have another pack of menthol, please?”

Cashier: “That will be eight dollars, Mr. Self Inflicted Sadist.”

So there cannot be factual pictures on cigarette packs to deter smoking, but airbrushed pictures of women everywhere to promote eating disorders and poor body image is acceptable.  That is a major WTF moment right there.  Here is the deal with the smoking.  People KNOW they are bad.  I knew they were bad.  Honestly… disgusting pictures on the pack would have embarrassed me at the register as I purchased the “death sticks” but I would have bought them anyway.  Kinda like the guy that eats Cap’n Crunch even though it makes his gums bleed… he’ll stop buying when he’s had enough.   Ok, yeah, that was me with the cereal.

Which story blows your mind the most today?  Do you think nasty pictures would hinder tobacco sales?  Have you ever thought about butt injections? Thanks for stopping by for another segment of Talk About It Tuesday. 😀

Talk About It Tuesday – People Are Whacked

Image courtesy of ropespolyplast.com

Welcome to another edition of Talk About It Tuesday.  Hope you all had a wonderful Valentine’s Day last week. The weather is getting warmer here on the East Coast.  I’m not sure if that is good or bad, but I am enjoying it.

Last week we talked about an adorable penguin named Roast Beef and a dude who slathered his naked self in chocolate and peanut butter.  As a writer, it is important for me to observe human behavior. I am sure all my writer friends would agree. That’s why I get a kick out of these stories.

Truth really is stranger than fiction.

In Leechburg, Pennsylvania, 23 year-old Timothy Beer was reading the newspaper (people still do that?) and came across an article about a man robbing a Chinese restaurant. After reading about the robbery, he went to the police station and confessed to the crime!  The man claims his other personality committed the crime. It wasn’t me, it was the other me!

Well, I guess you’re free to go then!

So you say you’ve got nothing going on in your life?   Well try this: 6-foot 4, 300 pounds of man walked into a Downingtown, PA Wal-Mart wearing nothing but a pair of socks. The funniest part of the article: The video also shows shoppers avoiding Taylor. Um, I don’t know about you, but if I spot a big naked guy walking around a store, guess what… I am not introducing myself.

In Portland, Oregon, a woman was spotted in the front seat of a car naked and bound with duct tape.  Valentine’s Day is a day for lovers and the like to express their feelings and sentiment.  Nothing says I love you like playing  S & M games in your car (in public).  A stunt like this is also a stark reminder of those we’d like to stay out of the gene pool.  Of course good U.S. citizens reported this to the police.  Of course it was all a misunderstanding.

I am so glad there are so many whackos in the world. It makes it so much more interesting!  Have you read any crazy stories lately?  Enjoy the rest of your week and be sure to drop by Thursday for The Walking Dead Chow Down.

Toodles!

Talk About It Tuesday

Welcome to the first installment of Talk About It Tuesday.  This is a new gig coming to you live from Bucks County, PA every Tuesday.  How it works:  In my spare time that really isn’t spare ( but hey, I’m a slacker) I will be finding the most ridiculous stories on the internet and posting them here. Yes.  HERE!

There won’t be many animal videos, because, as I realized tonight while my boyfriend watches kitten videos on YouTube… the exploitation stirs something unnerving inside.

So this week I found out that spiders have detachable penises!  Apparently, amidst the sexual encounter, the male spider begins to panic at the thought of being murdered by his mate and leaves his penis to work while he escapes.  I am sure there are a lot of men out there that wish they came stocked with this feature.

In London news, Menna Pritchard caught a lot of flack.  Apparently, rock climbing with your baby strapped to your back is frowned upon.  Well, yeah!  I think what unnerved people (ok, me) is that the mother had a helmet on, but the baby was sans helmet. Outrageous?  Read the article and share your thoughts.

Why do a lot of people think the police and FBI are a joke?  Maybe because once in a while they screw up in gigantic fashion.  A Massachusetts woman was held at gunpoint for a half hour while her baby screamed in the other room after the Feebs cut through the wrong door.  This after a two-year drug investigation. Two years!  If that isn’t alarming, I don’t know what is.

In Taiwan, a gamer died in a cafe and sat there (dead) for at least nine hours before anyone noticed!  According to the article, this is not the first time a person has died due to excessive gaming.  If you sit on your ass all day and then get up to move around, you could induce a heart attack.  I am using this reason at work for all my wandering the hallways.

Since reading these I will not be sitting on my ass playing Wii anymore.  And the next time I want to go rock climbing with my cat, I surely will have his helmet complete with ear holes ready to go. Hope you enjoyed the first installment of Talk About It Tuesday.

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