The Stepping Stones of Life

Stepping Stones“Sometimes shit is going to go wrong in your life. Sometimes, you’ll feel like everyone is stabbing in you in the back and you can’t catch a break. These are the moments to take a step back. Step back and ask yourself if you are trying to make something work that wasn’t meant to work for you… Sometimes things don’t work out because that path you’re on is just that: a path… that path is filled with ‘Stepping Stones.’ Some of those stepping stones are big, some small, some slippery, some beautiful, some painful.
Those stepping stones are part of your life journey… and when you navigate those big slippery stones that are painful… that’s the universe telling you that you’re growing and it’s time to take the next turn.”

D – Decisions: How To Make One

Questions...

Decisions, decisions… we make hundreds a day.  Some are made with much thought and others are automatic.  Like, this morning, I had to decide what to wear (that took a little time since I hadn’t done laundry in a week!) and then I had to decide which way to drive to work (automatic – I go the same way every morning).

But there are other decisions we must make through our busy days. Bigger decisions we don’t even realize we are making!  Decisions like: which bill to pay first (for those with struggling finances), public school or home school (for our kids) and whether or not to work from home.

For those tough decisions, I like to do a “pro & con” list.  I actually did one of these when I was in outpatient therapy in 2006 for alcohol/drug addiction.  Being new in sobriety, I needed all the help I could get and kept that list with me for the first year of my new-found freedom.  In group, I had to list the pros and cons of using my favorite narcotic.  Honesty was important!  This list helped me much in the beginning, because abstinence from alcohol and drugs for someone like me is not just stopping.  To never use or drink again required a change in thinking and I was prepared to make that change no matter what.

The most important thing about making a decision is deciding what is the most important (a little Cheshire cat action there for ya).

So the next time there is a big decision to make, get out that piece of paper and make a ‘pro’ column and a ‘con’ column.  It sounds silly and childish, but the best decision is an informed decision.

How do you make big decisions?

Six Sentence Sunday

I am editing my WIP and thought, hey!  It’s Sunday.  Why don’t I share with my readers a random, six sentence snippet of what I am currently editing.

So here goes: The scene is when Spitz is going to confront Celeste about the money she owes him. Spitz is on his way down to a motel in Philadelphia.

Spitz could just never figure out what the hell the problem was with everyone.  He thought everyone saw in black and white.  It was kind of like the kid who thinks all his friends have one parent at home until he goes over his friend’s house and then more friends’ houses and sees that all of their houses have a mom and a dad.  His house turns out to be the fucked up one.  His house turns out to be the black and white house.  His friends’ houses are fine.  His friends’ houses are raging in two hundred fifty six color bit schemes while his house is struggling in black and white.

December aka Starting New Before the Newness Starts!

Yep!  It is December.  That time of year for Christmas Present shopping, holiday baking and beating our heads against the wall as we deal with traffic, crowds, whiny kids (most times not our own) and trying to figure out how to hold it together for the last four weeks of the year.

What is with the self-inflicted pain you ask…. All those “I am going to do so many new things in 2011!”

  • I’m gonna lose fifteen ten five some pounds!
  • I’m gonna get something published!
  • I’m going to spend more time with my family!
  • I’m going to quit smoking!
  • I’m going to throw out donate everything in my closet that I no longer wear.

THIS is my ground breaking idea.  Ok, it’s not ground breaking, but it is definitely new to me.

Instead of starting my New Year’s Resolutions in January 2012…………….  I am starting them in December 2011!

*shaking my butt with joy* (kinda like a puppy – only not as cute).

On a realistic, non-insane note… I have been doing this journal, free writing thing that is giving me loads of ideas for new books.

It fits well with my dream.  Published author, household name, etc. etc.

Happy writing/blogging/dreaming!

It’s Better, It’s Worse… It’s Both

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I joined Oprah’s Lifeclass a few weeks ago and I have to say… I love it.  I am about ten classes in and am learning a lot about myself by answering thought-provoking questions that only I can see the answers to.  There is also a Daily Life Question that we have the option of answering.  It is linked to the users Twitter account.

As I read some of the answers (a lot of them anonymous) I shuddered at some of the things a lot of people have been through usually in great part by their parents.  I saw remnants of abuse, both physical and sexual, mental anguish, alcoholism, abandonment… 😦

It just got me thinking.. like.. what the hell do I have to bitch about?  Ok, yeah.. my childhood wasn’t the greatest.. I have always been socially awkward and put a lot of my worth on my physical beauty (but am too lazy to do any upkeep on it).  I tend to talk way too much when I get nervous and yes.. I am an alcoholic.

BUT – I am sober!  I AM beautiful!  I grew up poor.. but I have character.  I have small boobs.. but I have a great butt!  I can be very indecisive, but when I know what I want.. no one is stopping me.

It is so important for me (and you!) to look at the silver lining in the dark, looming clouds that hover over our heads from time to time.

We have all been through our own share of hell.  I remember years of self-pity, beating my head against the wall as I cursed and screamed “WHY ME?!”

Well, why not me?  Bad things have happened to me because I have the ability to help others.  If all I can do is take my experiences and share them with another, then whatever I have been through is not in vain.

Whatever doesn’t kill you – makes you stronger. 

What experiences have made you stronger?

#ROW80 Goals

Okay.. measurable goals!

Here goes my list for Round of Words in 80 Days! 🙂

1) Continue to blog at least four times a week. 2x a week on one blog, 1x a week on the other two.

2) Write three pages/1,500 words a day on novel in progress.

3) Do not take a magnifying glass to work in progress. Just get the words down for now.

4) Continue to build author platform by reading other blogs and commenting (love this part!)

5) Walk in Tyler State Park 3x a week minimum. (meditation – thought process for writing)

6) Ride motorcycle to work three times a week (weather permitting)!

ROW80!

Over Thinking – The Destruction of Creativity

A roulette wheel.

Image via Wikipedia

You walk into a pool hall, a bowling alley or a casino for the first time.  All brand new and shiny, you are awed.  You take your first break of the rack, throw the bowling ball down the lane for the first time, or you bet it all on black.

WINNER! WINNER! WINNER!

Wow, this is easy!  You think.. but then you actually do start to think.  And then before you know it, you are scratching on the pool table or sinking the 8 ball prematurely.  Your bowling ball keeps gravitating to the gutter and you’re pretty sure you should leave the casino before you sign your kids over to the roulette wheel dealer.

Every time we over think something, we destroy the creativity and naturalness of what is to be.

Let’s take writing our plot for our story or blog.  We break it down into small pieces in an outline.  We have topics, sub topics, and then we have all the goodies to stuff inside.  I don’t know about you… but when it comes to writing fiction, I have to leave the outline right in front of my face.  I am still working on how to get it so that it is a transparent film over top of my computer screen.  Like back in the day with those projector screens in school.  As if!

Over thinking has been the creation of my demise.  Kind of an oxymoron, but I think you get the gist.   I get a simple idea, and then before I know it, I am adding too much sugar, taking out a lot of salt, and voila!  I have some nasty concoction that was once awesome.

Of course we have to have characters, a plot, a sub lot, and all the other cream that gets stuffed inside.  Easy… one thing at a time.  Outlines help me out because I have a tendency to travel on one road and then I see a little offshoot, and before I know it, I am writing ten pages about the sub plot (which is starting to interfere with the main plot) and.. wait, what was I writing about?  How did this purple Smurf get in here?  Damn my over thinking!

Sometimes we need something along the lines of a purple Smurf.  Maybe your purple Smurf has a dog named Vlad that shoots flames out of his paws.  Who knows.  It is good to have a scratch pad or something to the side (I do this.. it gets the distractions out of my head) to doodle your cockamamie ideas.

You never know…. getting it out of your over active imagination might lead you to something big!  For today, there is only do, or do not.  There is no over thinking.

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